As a wife, it is easy for me to hold onto things that my husband does (or doesn’t do), even if it’s not intentional, and brood over it. Things like forgetting plans we made or not helping me when I feel he should, etc, etc, etc. I typically find myself replaying the situation over and over in my head like a broken record. Eventually, even if I wasn’t that mad in the first place, I would become angry, upset, and start feeling resentment towards him. This feeling would continue for days until my hubby did something to make things better. Childish? You bet…
This cycle continued until one day the Lord impressed upon my heart to read 1 Corinthians 13. Now as a teenager, I had memorized this entire chapter, so I was very familiar with what it said. But this time I read it with my husband in mind.
“Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]….Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything without [weakening].” 1 Corinthians 13: 4 – 7, Amplified Bible
What an eye opener! So, not only wasn’t I supposed to be touchy or resentful, I was supposed to bear up under anything and everything, believing the best of every person?! I continued to read hoping for a loophole…
“Eagerly pursue and seek to acquire [this] love, [make it your aim, your great quest]…” 1 Corinthians 14:1, Amplified Bible
It was a really hard pill to swallow. That kind of love isn’t selfish. It doesn’t demand that things are done it’s own way. It doesn’t keep long lists of all the things done against it.
That day, I realized it didn’t matter what my dear husband did or didn’t do. As his wife, it was my responsibility to love him, to forgive him and then let it go. Holding grudges only breeds anger and resentment. Two things I don’t want in my marriage! It’s not always easy to let things go, but I am continually thankful for the Holy Spirit’s conviction and the Lord’s grace and forgiveness in all areas of my life!